could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
