College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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