I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
