After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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