I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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