U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Life is so much better after having sex.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
