If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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