And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
