i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
