i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
