we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
