someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
