See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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