Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
