Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
