I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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