It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dicks are not precious.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
