I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
