Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
