I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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