What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
