everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
