need another drink. this is the easiest way
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i came on her dog
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
