week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
