thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
