So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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