Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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