and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
