ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pants are for mortals
These tits shall not be calmed
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
