I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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