I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
