Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
