Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
