wat bout pragnant strippers??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
