he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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