So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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