Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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