if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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