She said her name was "party"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
