Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you will always have a special place in my vag
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
