is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
