she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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