You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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