found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
