apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
