it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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