ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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