he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize