She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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