Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
