I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
