Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
And then he peed in my hair
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