watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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